Interracial dating: Are You Open To Dating Outside Of Your Race?
“YOU’VE NEVER HAD SEX WITH A WHITE MAN?” The lively conversation came to a complete halt as my lunch partner and the nosy table next to us all turned to look at me. It actually felt like one of those moments in a party, where the super crunk dude that’s been dancing too close to the DJ all night, finally bumps the table and the entire party just freezes. Blushing, I didn’t know whether or not to speak or try to magically blend in with the seats of the plastic booth that we were sitting in. With a little uncomfortable laugh I replied, “Uhm, no. Is there something wrong with that?” My lunch buddy snickered and said, “Girl, you don’t know what you’re missing, it’s just like being with a Black man.”
Now in theory, and as a social scientist by trade, I love theory. Race or ethnicity, should not change the sexual experience. White, Black, Puerto Rican or Haitian…does not change the act, just the color of the tool. Not having sex with a White man for me has more to do with not necessarily having the right opportunity to do so than anything else. Also, since my libido had been remanded to the court of celibacy, there wasn’t any of that happening around these parts anyway.
Let’s be clear, I am very open to dating men of other races and I’ve had lovely encounters with young men of different flavors. I think that limiting your options is something like cutting off your nose to spite your face. While I believe that there are some great Black men out there; the older I get and the longer I stay single the more I think my husband might be in the entire ocean and not just the Brotha pool. Plus someone has to make me an honest woman and more importantly someone has to make these people some grandchildren! I’M NOT GIVING UP ON YOU BLACK MEN…because I love each of you; a sista is just casting a wide net.
Talk to me, how do you all feel about interracial dating?
I’m all for the interracial dating and matter of fact I’m open if you know great sites that can hook ME up! I don’t think sistas are necessarily giving up on black men, but a recess is sometimes in order.
I love dating men…… Period! Color is not an issue for me. I have had the pleasure of dating men of different nationalities for several years now and I will continue to do so because it makes me happy. My family prefers that I date and marry black men only, but I disagree. By dating other nationalities, I have afforded myself a wider view of the world I live in and that experience is way more valuable to me than meeting my family’s approval or acceptance. When I find my husband, whether he’s black or not, I am the one who will have to live with him… no one else…. So when I choose my men, I choose based on whether I like him, not anyone else…
As a black male, it definitely bothers me when sistas say “there aren’t enough good brothas anymore.” Sadly, I’ve heard this from several black women during book club meetings. I see good brothas all time; however, I do believe we can all find love in people with a different “face,” so there’s no need to self-sabotage a chance at happiness simply because of skin color. If the potential lovemate is Asian or Latino, I say go for it.